Joke time

So after my 2 weeks in Hospital, I have 2 pieces of humour for you, first is a joke sent by my mate Merren, pretty good one to lift the spirits, the second is an actual thing that occurred on the ward that I was subsequently very apologetic for, but was pretty funny.

Joke 1...

A male patient had a full face oxygen mask, the trainee nurse had just given him a sponge bath of sorts, and he mumbled thru the mask "Nurse, are my testicles black?".
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I dont know sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet.".
Struggling to ask again... "Nurse, please check for me, are my testicles black?",
Concerned that it may elevate his blood pressure or heart rate, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers, moves a few things around and cradles others gently, "Sir, there is nothing wrong with them, they look fine."
The man slowly pulls off the oxygen mask, smiles at her and says vrey slowly... "Thank you very much, that was wonderful. Now listen very closely. Are-my-test-results-back?"

Joke 2, well this one really happened...

After having much trouble sleeping in hospital over the last couple of weeks, we hatched the plan of a relaxant, Atovan a around 8pm, then a couple of Panadol to also help with the fevers at around 9pm, and then a sleep pill, Temazapan, at around 11pm before nodding off to try and get some sleep.

My nurse was Homer, a lovely and capable guy that I have also has as my nurse at the infusion centre. Homer is very quiet, and just goes about his business really well,one of the nurses I feel in very good hands with, and have a good affinity with.

So all going to plan, however the doc had prescribed up to 2 sleep pills at a time, so instead of 1 we decided to go 2. So I went to sleep, worked a treat. First I remember is around 3am-ish waking up on the other side of the bed with my full port assembly disconnected, alarm from the beep machine going off, and Homer rushing in and asking me, "Trev, what have you done?". What i had done, was very skillfully after watching the port connections many times, I had clipped and disconnected the lines, Homer was concerned for the leaks, but nope, I had done it well, no leaks and all good.

So I think what had happened is that as a result of the drugs that worked so well I was so zonked that I went into some autopilot to disconnect. Not sure what was coming next, whether I was just going to shower without my pole, or I think more likely I had, had enough and was about to exit and head home, but for Homers quick action, I might have made it, damn!

Over the subsequent couple of days I continued to be apologetic to Homer, and he was completely fine. All the other nurses knew about it, some were a little critical  but most had a little giggle with us as well. Something I am sure we will laugh about for some time. They will be careful to keep an eye on me during the witching hours just that little more I am sure.

Next week....
So next week I will hopefully get back to some routine and back into a chemo round whilst getting used to the new pain regime. Today was OK, and tomorrow is always another day.

Love.
Trev.