The Journey, is it still going? Are you still here?

I'm in an funny situation. I am still here, who would have thought?

When I was diagnosed in July 2014, the prognosis wasn't great. There has also been some times along the way when things were going downhill quickly, and then turned it around. But, I am still here, let me come a little closer, and slowly repeat that in my most enthusiastic voice, "I am still fucking here!!!!".

I remember many times looking into close friend and families eyes, with some of the not so good news knowing that they are wondering "is this the last time we will see each other?". I know I have thought that at times. I remember speaking to good mate Davo, and once he said I wasn't sure about calling you, wasn't sure you were still here! But on it goes, on I go. I am very proud of the fact that I am still here and still in the game, still kicking a few behinds (goals are a little out of my reach so I am happy with a few behinds, and I guess a double meaning of "kicking butt" for Kicking Behinds works for me too). Bit battered and bruised, but still in the game.

So when I say I am in a funny situation, the situation is that my journey has gone on longer than many of us thought it would. So its a funny situation. Lots of people made a big deal of it all in the beginning especially  making things easier for me and my family, food rosters, lifts, lunches, catchups, visits. Honoring with awards, life membership of the footy club, articles in the news, mentions in newsletters, the recent AFL award, all those things I say in the humblest way I can, are fantastic, and really give me a reason to keep punching on, keep trying really, really hard to wake up tomorrow with a smile and a wave. They have been, and will continue to be, awesome. The continued catchups are wonderful, that's what life's about, family and friends, relationships.

But I am sure that with the fact that I am still kicking that there is an element of tiredness of the journey. I am sure people get sick of asking me how I am and getting pretty much the same answers. I know, people are nice, no, I mean people are great, you are all great. And I know its always genuine concern, but I also understand that because of the way it has gone, that there is some "same-old-same-old" with it. In a way, I sometimes wish it would go one way or another, either I would dramatically get better and life would return to normal (yep, preferred option for sure), or it would go the other way. If you are going to get me, then get it over with you bastard.

So I understand when I start to ramble on about chemo and treatments and drugs and poo and pain and meds, feel free to glass over a little, or not. Just letting you know I understand and you are not offending me in any way, I just appreciate spending time with you.

So today's blog is a little heavy, but as always just saying whats on my mind, being raw and honest. Hoping to give an insight into how I, and possibly others in similar situations feel.

So I continue to enjoy my catchups, spending time with the people I love. Was great to get out on Sunday and watch E running around at Swans training, snapping a few photos. Will continue to get out and enjoy life, today and tomorrow, as tomorrow is always another day.

Love.

Trev.