Trev's Journey: Grass is always greener

I'd like to send out my love and best wishes through the ether to Luke and Paul, a couple of guys with similar battles, and going through some really tough stuff. Both you guys are handling things just sensationally. I couldn't imagine how hard with the pain, the not being able to eat, the weight loss, and the rest of the crap you guys are going through. The light at the end of the tunnel is not a train coming the other way! You are inspiring fellas, anything I can do to support you, just ask, I'll be there.

It is amazing how people handle the real life challenges. I am not talking about when your laptop crashes, altho, that probably is one of life's biggest challenges. When faced with the life threatening ones, lots of people do say "I don't know how I would handle it". I think there are varying degrees of strength and acceptance, but it really is a no choice option. The choice is to lie down in the fetal position, or to handle it, and most of us, and YOU would, just handle it. Just look left and right at the people around you, and I reckon that's pretty much enough to say, fuck this, I am going to deal with this and make the best of it. What that means may be differ from person to person, but we will all, mostly, just handle it.

What I do think is different is the levels of acceptance, pragmatism, optimism, resilience, and communication and openness about it all, and maybe a few other things. I have worked really hard on all of these things as I think they are vital for me and my family to work through it all in a constructive way.

Health Update
So an update on some health challenges. 2 weeks ago I had a scan which showed that the chemo is not working as good, and that the cancer had pretty much plateaued no growth, but no more reduction either. We knew this day would come, just hoped it was a while away.

Had a detailed talk about it all with the onco today, was a very good discussion. His view was that based on the last few months, my body has had enough of the chemo and needs a bit of a rest. We have agreed that we will stick with the current chemo protocol, with dropping the most toxic of the drugs and just infusing the other 2. The hope is that these will firstly keep the tumours at bay, at least a bit. Likelihood, who knows, maybe, maybe not. Secondly, this will give my body some time to recuperate, and hopefully get on top of the fatigue a bit. Then what I want to do and I told the onco that I will then have a good 4-6 weeks off chemo over Christmas and January, spend some good, well time with the fam.

So we are starting to look at really balancing the quality of life with the management of the disease. Is this a good thing, I don't know really, but at the moment I'm sure it is, I think it is what I need. But I am still in the game, still a few goals behind, but I am sure some of the future treatment will give me a good tail wind to kick with in the 3rd quarter, just need a little bit of luck.

Catchups this Week
A lovely birthday lunch for Lyss in at Cockle Bay on the weekend. Great to catch up with some good mates, worked with Steve C for many years across a few organisatons, great to catch up. The post-season wrap with Fincha, Mic, Brendan and Chop, as usual brothers, was great shooting the breeze and telling some lies. Good to talk with Vic & Paul, thinking of you guys.Good night at seeing Illawarra take the chocolates at the basketball with E.

So after my big day at chemo today, as we have reduced the drug intake i am feeling surprisingly well, albeit still being wide awake from the steroids at 1am. I'll take that, and I reckon tomorrow I will be just that little better, after all, tomorrow is always another day.

Love.

Trev.