Owning the Curve

Got some great comments from the last post, thanks guys. Love the idea of owning the curve. I have to get my head around the curve, what it means, what comes next, how I will handle it, and been having a little trouble doing that. But I do have to own it, I do have to take some control, any control I can, and I am working on it.

Part of owning the curve and taking control is the idea that I will push through any challenge, will look for the silver lining, will make the most of each day. The result of that is often appearing normal, looking good (well as good as can be I guess, but I am a handsome rooster for sure, just ask me).  But sometimes I struggle with that, I push hard every morning to move forward for the day, to do something productive, to be UP, to be, well to try and be me or whats left of the old me. But let me tell you, sometimes its hard, really fucking hard to do this.

I don't usually grab these things, but these words pretty much encapsulated how I have been feeling a bit lately. Its not just discomfort, its fair dinkum pain, its not just tiredness, its this weight of fatigue that is indescribable.  I don't want pity, no way, but I need understanding, maybe compassion sometimes. I certainly need help and support to push on and keep UP, its not always so easy.

So its been a bit of a down week, still working out what the curve means, and how to handle the results, but will talk with my onco Josie next Monday and I am sure we will work out a good plan of attack, for now.

So each day I reckon I am coming closer to owning the curve, and so tomorrow I will be a little closer, as tomorrow is always another day.
Love.
Trev.