The Mental Rollercoaster

I love this time of year.

1. Its between seasons, the cold seems to start moving away and the sun visits more often. Do I wear shorts today, or still don the jeano's? Sorry for that picture, my near hairless legs out in the open, some people pay lots of cash to have smooth legs like mine.
2. Its the end of the kids footy and netball seasons, we have finals, and wrap-up with great discussions about the year, and thoughts of next year.
3. Its AFL Finals Footy, Swans are always there, and again we are in it, but the games every weekend are such high standard, its great to watch the games and all the analysis.

For the mental challenges that my disease and treatment bring, these are all great distractions. I don't know how much the mental side plays in the whole scheme of things, but for well-being in general I think its significant. To have the distractions, and all the conversations around them, it enables me to focus in other positive directions.

But its never far from the surface, its never far from conversation, and I think that's OK. Its not about trying to forget about it all, that would be silly, and something that would be hard to do. I have never been a bury-the-head-in-the-sand sort of guy anyway. Its about providing the mind a chance to get away from the concerns and worries of the situation to give the mental piece time to rest and perhaps even to recuperate and repair. I still need to think about the practicalities and continue to ponder the various scenarios, be ready for the next onco appointment with my current crop of questions, but I also need to be able to separate from it at times.

Part of the separation I feel is that although to a certain extent the disease does take over, it cannot over the long term define who I am. When you refer to me now or anytime, I hope that the disease is just 1 of the subsets that make up who I am. A major one for sure, I understand and accept that, but I continue to work hard to make it not the defining one in my time here. What my hope is that when people do talk about me, that they talk about other things first, bad or good I am not sure, but that the disease is a secondary thing. Does this make sense?

So after having my smaller weed killer yesterday I am feeling pretty good today. I am a little surprised that I am feeling this way after such a foul weekend, but I am happy to take it while it lasts. Might have been the pep talk from JG on the way home yesterday, footy, cricket, finals, you know the drill. Thanks for the lift by the way JG, always there for me bud. So might get out soon and take the dog for a walk in the beautiful weather, and try and relax for the day to keep this feeling going for a while.

Happy that I can smell the roses, had some hayfever sneezing this morning so might restrict the rose sniffing a bit, but good that have had a switch and ready for whats next, as tomorrow is always another day.

Love.
Trev.