Had another dose of Erbitux yesterday, after a bit of discussion the gist of it all was that they knocked me out for the day and then threw in the weedkiller. So slept thru it all without the dramas, and also pretty washed out today.
I saw last week the NZ Cricketer, Martin Crowe getting an ICC lifetime achievement award. Didn't think much of it, but he looked ill and thought I heard the commentators say something about his health, so I googled to find a little more.
He was diagnosed with a lymphoma a couple of years back which since turned into a rare blood disorder. He wasn't expected to live till the end of last year, and is still hanging in there. He went thru some brutal chemo initially, but for this latest bout he decided to not do chemo, try some natural therapies and stay at home and rest.
"Its just a journey based on what I believe within myself".
He has taken it into his own hands on how he wants to handle it, made decisions based on what he thinks is best for him. I am sure he would have got some hassle over denying the chemo and moving to alternate therapies, but he is taking control, I like that.
"Removing the prognosis from my head has been the hardest, but we are getting there".
Its another story of the power of ones own self belief, being in control and believing that it is the right thing whilst staying pragmatic about the situation, I get that too.
"You call on everything that you have got. The main thing is love for the people around me and what is given back. I only really focus on compassion and forgiveness because that is the only way you can keep moving forward".
I think this is really accepting and enlightened thinking from Crowe. I am not sure I am quite there yet but what he expresses is pretty much where I want to head. Love, compassion, forgiveness, what else matters really.
I remember Crowe as a cricketer, in the days of Hadlee and Chris Cairns, I think he had a brother that played as well. I remember Chris Cairns bottle bat that he hit for miles. I vaguely remember Crowe to be a fierce competitor that has clearly been changed significantly on his journey with illness and confronting mortality. His words were real comfort, they make sense.
"I don't have any fears or doubts".
I am not there yet Martin, I have plenty of them for sure, but I'm working on it. All the best for your journey brother. I'm sure you know it but tomorrow is always another day.
Trev.
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