Never Surrender

Been a tough week this week. With the news that the chemo wasn't working on Monday, has been hard to get my mojo back this week. Pain seems to have increased again, I don't want to up the pain meds, but think I may have to. Starting the new chemo regime on the 23rd Feb, with a weekly infusion on this one. Was planning about heading back to work part time but that is another unknown at the moment. Life in limbo again.

Great to catch up with Shaun, Shane, Gaz and Rodney this week, lovely to chat wit Rog, BP & John  as usual, thanks again Mike for being with me on Monday. I value my strong friendships with all you guys.

Read Jimmy Stynes book recently about his cancer journey. Have known a bit about the story, but never read the book. Cassie selected it as a chrissy present, perfect choice, and a good read. One of Jim's tag lines was "never surrender". I like that. Jim, I'm taking that one on.

Jim tried everything, i mean everything. From the standard chemo and radiation, to all the spiritual things he could lay his hands on, a number of trips to Bali for things like smoke therapy. The documentary which came after the book opens with Jim chucking a couple of ice cubes in a glass of his own wee and drinking it.

I am not spiritual nor religious  and as I look thru these alternates that people send me I look at the logic and science, show me the studies, the control groups, the effect. Mostly they are "well it worked for me". My theory is that often the alternates are taken alongside other more conventional therapies, as well as the power of the mind that the alternate may help to provide, its hard to then say what made the cancer go away.

I wonder when, or if, I will get to that point where I will start to try some of Jimmys therapies. He seemed to me to be grasping, trying anything that may work. But my reading of it is that he did this in deference to actually spending his final time with his family. There were so many trips and times when he was out of action due to some of these therapies, that it took away time he could be spending sitting with the kids or with his wife Samantha. That to me was not somewhere where I want to go. My focus has to be determined, but also balanced with the here and now.

Tomorrow is always another day.
Trev.