Life of Limbo

It's a life of limbo.

I find that I'm living in limbo land. First there was initial diagnosis, then several tests over the next 5 days to then wait in limbo for the next specialist appointment to find the results. As I started radiation, it was a waiting game, was it working, was it shrinking the thing, probably, maybe, and waiting for each milestone to then scan and check.

Surgery, was it a success, did it work, did they get it all, "we have sent the tissue away for biopsy". Again, waiting, in limbo land, was great to see surgeon Peter skipping into the room 3 days later with the statement "clear margins",  best news for months. The waiting, wait till it all heals, cant do anything for a while until it heals, so cooling my heels until the surgery heals (see what I did there, heels, heals!).

Chemo starts, is it working, or is that clever little cancer too smart for it. Lets do that CT scan, and then wait, over the weekend, results on the Monday said that the tumours are still bigger than back in September  but that may mean they grew a lot, and are on the way down, or not. So just wait, 2 or 3 more rounds of chemo, then another CT to check, so lets wait, lets go back to limbo land for a while.

OK, well I can deal with limbo land, if I wasn't a patient man before then I am quickly learning to be. But I am taking a bit of control of the revolving limbo land door. I am so excited to going into work tomorrow and chatting to a few guys about ways I can return to work, part time of course. What can I do, what cant I do, and lets have a crack. I am excited to be starting to get back involved in the footy club, slowly, and not too much, just some small things that I can help with, and chatting with gusto to all the coaches and guys on committee about the season. I am excited to be dropping Cass at work, picking Jane up from the station, ferrying the kids, and doing a bit more around the house ....when I can.

So I'm excited. This is the new normal. Of course its not like it used to be, it never will be, but its the new normal. A little more each day in my good week, and a little less in my bad week, lets have a real crack. I am greatful to have such good family, friends and work colleagues that are helping me with the new normal.

So I will continue to live the life of limbo, but to claw back some of that normality I have craved.
Any you know why? Because tomorrow is always another day.
Trev.