Stay strong and keep positive

Have you said or posted a "stay positive" to me or to someone else? Maybe, possibly. It is a fairly standard thing that comes to mind to say to someone, it seems right. I'm with you on the positive ness, it can help, the power of the mind is very strong, can really help.

However, let me try paint you a picture.

I had chemo yesterday, today I feel wasted. Not the normal wasted of being tired from exercise, or hungover even, but the wasted which means you haven't the energy to change TV channels on the remote control. Don't want to lift a finger. Aches in various parts, legs at the moment are doing this cramping thing, mostly down at the achilles, my calves are also in need of a real deep tissue massage. I feel sick, got my sick bag near me, but trying to avoid it, head is spinning, can't get comfortable. I am worrying that my lovely wife is doing everything for me, that I can no longer do much to help her around the house, I try, I try hard, but just not able. I look at my children, they are picking up the slack around the house, mostly graciously, but what has happened to their dad that once was here, he has gone. I ponder the future, but it's hard to see past tomorrow.

Do you see what I mean, just a little. For anyone in their right mind there is little chance of "staying positive" all the time.

But I don't think it's about that. I am a positive guy. I think it's about things like resilience, pragmatism, understanding and acceptance, amongst other things. 

I need the time to cry, reflect, plan and think, as well as to laugh, smile, and enjoy. So I'm not in any way having a go at those that have given me "stay positive", I get it, I understand what you are saying, and thanks. All I want to know is that I am in your thoughts and wishes, that's all, and that means heaps.

Tomorrow is always another day.
Thoughts and wishes.
Trev.